Feelings poured out...

Been wanting to write this for awhile now but I guess I just haven’t found the time…till now.
To you,
Hurt…that’s the word that has been bothering me for the past few months. I didn’t know why…why things happened as they did, why me, and why must they happen for no apparent or good reason at all. I tried...believe me. I did. But u see, there’s only so much that I can take. My patience is not unlimited. I have feelings too, just like everyone else…just like u. For months, I’ve kept all my feelings bundled up inside. I suffered all the hurt n pain that this worthless drama has caused me. Tears and real feelings I could only show in my confined little space I call room. No, I’m not asking for sympathy. There’s no need for that. I just figured u ought to know all this. Imagine being treated like a wall...as if u don’t exist Being excluded and treated with hostility…over n over again, for who knows what reason. Opportunities to make things better again, I took, in hope that situations would return to normal and friendship would once again be restored. But it always ended as a one-sided thing. I tried and tried again…why? Come to think of it… I’m really not sure. Not sure if I should even have tried in the first place. There was once, as I’m sure you would know, that I actually felt that things WOULD change for the better. I asked why. And I was given the reason. I should have asked more. I should have asked why n how could that become a good reason for all the hostility. I should have told u that even though to most of us u were the same as what u didn’t like me for, we never treated u that way in return. but I guess I was too happy n filled with hope that I decided to push it aside. But, once again… my feelings were crushed. Things that u said sorry for… happened yet again. Exclusion and hostility was still in the picture. It wasn’t only to me. But to others as well. Again, why? I’m sure that at times u feel hurt as well…by the silent treatment (because, believe it or not, my patience ran out n I didn’t feel like being treated like a wall anymore, and well, I basically gave up) or by what’s going on. Things worth thinking about: How did all this start? Why did all this start? I didn’t plan for this to happen. Heck, no. I have much better things to do then to cook up things like this. I didn’t even see it coming. Neither did those that this has happened to. There are so many sides to u that I myself am confused. Outside, everyone’s treated nicely. Inside… (..I’ll let u complete this part..). At times u can be (how do I put this?) not-so-nice. Others, the opposite. <> So, yea. The mystery still remains. Why? I didn’t know. I still don’t know. And something tells me I never will…

To YOU,
You’ve made your choice. Your choice to not listen to what I might have to say. That’s fine. I never planned to anyway. So please stop thinking that I care bout what u think or do. Believe me. I don’t. It was your choice to say I’m not your friend remember? Like I said
If you don’t like me,
It’s just mind over matter,
I don’t mind,
And you don’t matter.
'‘nuf said.

To y-o-u,
I’m glad you’ve finally seen what you couldn’t see before. Thanks for listening. Thanks for understanding. Don’t be discouraged. U did nothing wrong. Neither did she, for being in your life. In fact, I’m happy that you have someone so understanding to be there for you. I have to admit… there was a point in time when it felt as if I’ve lost you. It’s as if there was a black veil covering your eyes, preventing you from seeing what we saw and felt. It probably sounded like some petty little thing to u. And yes, I was a little hurt. But it’s alright now. I just hope and pray that if things ever returned to the way they were, that you would be one of those who understands what we’ve been thru… what I’ve been thru. And possibly make a change.

To u,
Thank you for being there for me especially during the times I needed it most. Thank you for just listening while I poured my heart out. Thank you for understanding me, comforting me and supporting me every step of the way. But most of all, thank you simply for being you and for being someone that i can truly trust.

To most of You,
You might just treat this as rubbish but I just wanted to say… don’t listen to just one side of the story. You never know if part of it might have been twisted…Don’t jump to conclusions and judge when you were never around to witness anything. I’ve also never understand the whole “exclusion” thing- or at least it seems like it. I wonder what happened to “the more the merrier”… oh well, that’s just me and my thoughts. Guess it might not work that way for u.

This post was not meant to hurt anyone. It’s just an expression of my feelings. My story? That’s prolly best left for another day…